Sunday, February 24, 2008

My Lack-of-Separation Anxiety

Well, I used to have this theory about mothers who couldn't get their babies to go gladly into Nursery. Not anymore. After three willing children, I now have the other kind. And clearly, it isn't my fault.

Conor is finally 18 months! I have been counting down to this day for months! Church becomes excruciating right around 12-14 months when cute little baby no longer wants to sit and be still, let alone sleep through the meetings. Being in the YW presidency has been tricky with said baby, and I just want to come home from church without sweat stains from wrestling with him, or aching feet from chasing after him!

The problem is, Conor likes me so much that he can't bear to be apart from me. This is foreign territory to me. I have never had a separation-anxiety driven child. I take him down to Nursery and talk about the friends and the toys and he is oh, so happy! He plays, he slides, he age-appropriately hits the other children with plastic bake ware, he has a roll-over in the Fisher Price car without tears. But the second I'm gone, he has a meltdown. I've tried sneaking out. No good. I've tried Adam and then Lyndsay depositing him in the Nursery. No good. I've tried talking rationally to him about how this is Conor's class and Mommy needs to go to Mommy's class. He's not having any of it. He would like to be in his class with Mommy seated safely across the room watching from the couch. It's driving me crazy!

So, today I watched how vast the difference is between age 18 months, when the babies are allowed to enter Nursery class, and say, age 2 or just over 2, as all the other children are.

Snack time: Good little children eating.

Conor dumping all his goldfish and pretzels into his cup of juice and then afterwards pouring it onto himself and to the table.


Lesson time: Good little children wearing their "Jesus loves me" necklaces and listening.


Conor ripping his heart off his necklace and then doing pig man impressions with the ribbon.



Coloring time: Good little children coloring their pictures of Jesus.

Conor eating (and then chucking at other children) the crayons.

Music time: Good little children playing their instruments loudly or softly as the music indicates.
Conor eating the instruments, chasing girls with the instruments, and banging the table with the instruments.



I swear all of this comes from his father's side.

God, bless all the Nursery leaders. And may they live forever.

28 comments:

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

awh jenna,
hang in there. he will outgrow this. but it rots now. sorry.

i know it's not supposed to be funny, but that was adorable how you listed the other kids doing each thing just so ... and then how conor did it opposite. you are going to look back on this post and laugh. i know you will, but it won't be tomorrow.

soon.

take care girl,
kathleen

Annette Lyon said...

Ah, yes. I had half and half--two of mine were of the "don't leave me or I'll die" persuasion, and the other two didn't even look back as they waltzed into Nursery.

Hang in there! One of mine went WAY too long with the anxiety thing, and we had to get creative. If Connor ends up passing age two like this, let me know, and I'll let you in on what worked for us. He might be too young for it now.

Or he may outgrow it very soon. Here's hoping!

Holly said...

I think good nursery leaders are guaranteed entrance into the celestial kingdom!

Jonathan, Andrea and Luke said...

Hi, I have thoroughly enjoyed this post. So adorable. What a precious child!! yeah for 18mths!

Julie Wright said...

HAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! Jenna I loved the photo shoot! This is priceless!

Tristi Pinkston said...

Oh, but he's so cute!!

Luisa Perkins said...

The photos are fabulous.

I have had a couple who were reluctant nursery goers; I feel your pain.

Kimberly said...

What a cutie! He reminds me of Becca, who always goes willingly if Daddy takes her, but freaks if I do. Heh. Fun to be loved, eh?

Laurie M. said...

Oh, wow, I know how you feel. My first three had no problem going to nursery. But number four was a different story. He is now 4 and FINALLY staying in his CTR 5 class. He's been staying all by himself for a month now and it is so nice!

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Lisa Allen said...

Oh this was a sweet little post...I also read your haircut post...as a hairstylist I will give you a little unknown peice of advice, when cutting curly hair comb thru the hair and pull taut like you did...and then relax about half the taut length, then cut it..that keeps the hair from "drawing up". Curly hair is so much fun, I see you are finding that out.BTW you family is adorable

Misty said...

it certainly takes a patience person to work in the nursery. I can work in the baby side of it, no problem. it's once the kids have developed thought patterns and make choices that get a little frightened! :)

I love his pig man impression though. What a charmer! :)

YogaNana said...

I don't recall *any* of you going willingly into nursery right away -- and I have pictures of one little girl of mine who had a meltdown the first day of kindergarten.

Your grandmother used to say there was something wrong with me or with my kids, that they stuck so close. I prefer to think, as you say here, that they just liked me a whole lot. :o) Fear not, it wil pass. And all of you managed to move out on your own and take care of yourselves.

We love the photo essay.

BusyDad said...

Looks like you've got a little rockstar in the making. Juice and triangles today, TVs out the hotel window tomorrow! Rock on!!

Leslie said...

Love the photo's...I feel your pain...So far all my kids entering nursery have thrown big time fits...I imagine my baby will too.

I think they start nursery at the wrong age..(waiting for the lighting to hit)..I think 12 months would be better...yeah they might still be a bit to young but i think it would be easier on them to adjust. But who am I to say...I am just a mother of 5 kids who can't live without their mom.

Moody said...

Those pictures are hilarious! I like the look the nursery leader is giving you! All of my kids have been clingy so he sounds completely normal to me!

Sarah said...

Rylie went in with the least amount of complaint. Alyssa and Camden I don't remember all that well. We were fairly inactive during a good portion of the time that they should have been going. Trenton was almost 2 before we started going to church again and so the whole thing was new to him and he didn't part easily. It did get better at one point, then they switched the nursery leaders and it was rough on him for several weeks until my brother and sil moved into our ward and their son was going into the nursery also. Now they are the only 2 boys in Sunbeams with a whole bunch of girls. He goes in just fine. Camden had a hard time adjusting also when we went back to church but they all go just fine now! Thank goodness!

amanda said...

Oh my, I remember when my daughter went through extreme separation anxiety. I'm pretty sure that all of my shirts were stretch from the constant pulling and tugging my daughter would do if she thought I was going to walk off. Also, I love your photos of your husband and yourself on the traintracks. :)

Mom2My6Kids said...

I haven't had any of mine go to nursery yet. Either I've been eventuaaly called to be their teacher in nursery or I've just drug them to class with me. I'm pretty much been a primary teacher all the time so it works out okay to have them with me. I wonder though what it would be like to have a couple of hours a week without my little ones hanging on me. I might go through withdrawals. There is a big difference though between the 18months kids and the 2 year olds. And good teachers make a huge difference with the kids. Hang in there. And I like your mom's comments. I'm sure she wasn't talking about you though:) Cute pictures. He really is a sweet baby!

LaskiGal said...

These are the sweetest pics ever. I think I'll be the one with separation anxiety. He's only in the next room and I'm feelin' it. What the heck has happened to me???

Deb said...

LOL... I have a 19-month-old. I know that behavior firsthand!! Are you suggesting all kids are not like this? Because if that's the case, I might be tempted to have a second kid.

amy t sharp said...

cute cute cute

Amanda said...

I feel this will end up happening to me as well. I am counting down the days until my 7 month (today) old baby girl will be attending nursery, but she's obsessed with me. I don't anticipate her going very easily. I hope things are getting easier.

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